Check out "Role With It" and the picture will make sense!

Jon Hill sent us this picture of some students that showed up at CIY in Tennessee this week. It completely cracked me up. This is AWESOME! They watched the Youth Group 101 "Roll With It" video and then came in character. Yet another reason why I love Youth Ministry!

5 Chinese arrested in enslavement case - Yahoo! News

5 Chinese arrested in enslavement case - Yahoo! Newsday'

This is such a crushing and devastating article. This issue is near to my heart right now. We are talking with a fantastic group called the International Justice Mission about doing a documentary on human slavery. We are specifically going to look at sex traffic with adolescent girls in Asia. It is totally overwhelming to see how God's children are being abused.

This year we had the chance to turn the hearts of students toward the HIV/AIDS crisis in Africa. My dream is that next summer we can really turn our attention to this issue of slavery. I hope we can call the church to make an impact. I can't imagine what it will mean when over 25,000 students mobilize in prayer and action.

What are your thoughts on CIY hitting this issue next summer?

Happy Father's Day from Indiana

My day started off great with a little gift from my kids. They got me a 4-pack of Starbucks frapucchino to start my day off. I like that a lot! What concerns me as I type this is that blogger doesn't recognize the word "Starbucks" or frappuccino. This 4-pack is yet another contributor to the demise of my six pack...along with an 18 oz. steak, blackberry cobbler, good ice cream, and my favorite candy.

I guess when I get back home I'll have to keep riding the new Father's Day bike to the office to make up for it! I hate the 24 miles (roundtrip)...but I love the money I'm saving on gas and the workout that I get! I've had some great conversations with the Father. I've also enjoyed some time with Mark Driscoll, Rob Bell and John Piper. Thank you iPod!

Last week here in Indiana was pretty amazing. It was humbling to see the Holy Spirit at work. I can't wait to see how the Spirit works this week. I think the hardest part is the silence after everyone leaves. I enjoy the break and the nap...but I hate not getting to see life change play out in students. I miss not getting to see the stories unpack. That will always be the hardest part. I love the local church and it will always be hard to not be engaged with the students as they grow.

We will start registration here in a couple of hours for the next week. It's pretty quiet here right now...but it won't be for long. We have a huge group coming in this week. I wonder if they will go as nuts for the video of the Indian/Punjabi guy as the last group. We did find the lyrics to the song. It was nuts. I saw this stupid video roll and I almost told the tech guys to pull it...by the end of the week entire youth groups had a full blown choreography to the song. High School students crack me up.

I get to hang out with Chad Brown this week. I'm sure that he will try and get me up on stage to do the dance or some sort of stupid impersonation. Chad basically has a great time at my expense...he knows that I tend to stink at any sort of impersonation...so he is always trying to get me going. All of my impersonations sound like Apu Nahasapeemapetilon off the Simpsons. It doesn't matter if I'm trying to be Irish, English or German...I always sound like Apu.

Hey...if you get a chance you've got to check out the Youth Group 101...they are SO, SO true. Yet another time to poke fun at the entire culture of Youth Ministry...I love this job. You can check them out on our website, on YouTube or through iTunes on the CIY Summer Conference Podcast. Enjoy!

My sons are staging a hostile takeover

We just got the link put up for our new program called SuperStart!. My son Justin was totally pumped to see his face on the front page of the website.

Patrick and his crew do such a great job with SuperStart! Now that I've got a pre-teen myself, I have a whole new respect and understanding of that age group. My son is usually rocking me with some random and abstract question that I feel totally unprepared to answer. Justin tends to floor me with his wisdom. Even at 11, I can honestly say that I respect my son. I'm falling in love with pre-teen ministry. I wish I had really understood how critical it was before. I had that typical Youth Minister attitude. It's all about Jr. High and Sr. High students...and even in that world...the Sr. High group is always trump. Man...I wish I could go back and do my Youth Ministry days in the local church all over again. I would change a lot. I know that I would invest much more heavily in our Children's Ministry.

It's interesting seeing both of my sons this year at conference. I'm seeing elements of myself coming out in both of them...and I'm not sure I like it! Here at summer conference Levi and Justin keep coming up to me offering suggestions on how to make the program better. They are 8 and 10 and feel the need to come up and take my job.

Levi has already told me that I have his dream job. He has decided that he will have my office and my job someday. I think I'll have to give the smack down and make him wait just a little bit longer. They are both cracking me up. I've got them on my left and right during the event telling me that we should change the way we do elements. They are making suggestions for video. They've got lighting ideas.

Man...it's going to be a long summer. Who knows...by the end of it...they may actually have my job.

Closing in on Indiana 1

It's creeping up on midnight and our interns and Bible College staff are all still hard at work. We are putting on the finishing touches on what looks to be a great week.

I love conference. I've been waiting all year to come back to Anderson University. It just seems like we get such a great group of Youth Ministers and students at these two weeks. I'm looking forward to catching lunch with some of the guys to hear what has been happening in their churches lately. I'm really looking forward to connecting with Ben Walker and Todd Jefferson and a slew of other quality youth ministers.

This theme has really been hitting my heart. I think that the whole concept of community is needed within our churches. I really think that our issues and difficulties with unity is the biggest obstacle realization of the gospel in our culture. Our inability to love one another is crippling the church.

I can't wait to see how things play out this week. I can't wait to see what the Holy Spirit will do in the lives of students.

A special thanks to our interns and Bible College staff. They are doing such a great job. We couldn't do this ministry without their help. We are so very grateful for your Kingdom service.

For those of you keeping up...

I'm through Day 5...headed for Day 6...

I think God is speaking through a book that Aaron Pelsue gave me. It is written by Andrew Murry. The book is called "Humility - The Journey Toward Holiness".

Here is the quote that rocked me tonight:

"He (Jesus) felt himself to be the Servant of God for those whom God created and loved. As a natural consequence, He counted himself the Servant of men and women so that through Him God might do His work of love. He never for a moment sought His own honor or asserted his power to vindicate himself." (Murray, Humility, p. 34.)

So much to learn...
There's an update for you...

Hanging out in Panama City

Our staff has been in Panama City, Florida all week partnering with Southeast Christian Church out of Louisville, KY. This has been such a great week and they are such a great church to work with.


I am really excited about how the Holy Spirit is working. It is cool to see the hard work all year come together. I'm really excited to see what will happen this summer. I think this might be one of the most impacting themes we've ever had.


This theme of ONES just has a heart for the local church. Our staff was sitting back tonight reflecting how we really see ourselves kind of as bridesmaids to THE BRIDE of Christ, ...the Church. I can't wait to see how community is built between groups and within groups.

It's a great week, and it is going to be an amazing summer.

Powered by ScribeFire.

What I'm trying to say...

CIY is looking for event "space" - NASA Says It Will Set Up Polar Moon Camp

Ouch...Change Youth Change the World just got a little bit harder.

Let me go ahead and say that CIY would like to be the first in line to reserve space for an event. Is there some sort of NASA ticket dispenser that we use to get a number and hold our space in line? 2020 is a long way off.

Feel free to call Jennifer at the office to reserve space for your group.

BREITBART.COM - NASA Says It Will Set Up Polar Moon Camp

Pope hailed for praying toward Mecca like Muslims | Top News | Reuters.com

You've got to be kidding me. It isn't that I consider a Pope to be a leading spiritual leader in my life, but I do recognize that millions of others look to him for guidance. Is this what they have to look toward? A man who kisses the Koran and says that he receives "god's word" and a man that bows before a false god and turns his face toward their mecca. He can somehow call Islam a peaceful faith?

Even if he was praying to YHWH...his example sent a message to millions of Muslims and Christians.

It isn't the visit itself that bothers me. I've been to visit Hindu temples, mosques, Buddhist temples, etc. In the process of traveling all over the world, I've had opportunities to see a lot of other houses of religion. I've learned a lot. Every time I visit I am careful to act respectfully while I am in their facility. I do think there is a level of courtesy and respect that you have for people...I think that respect can open doors for the gospel. Paul shows us this example in Athens. I embrace the attempts to bring peace and reach out to the Muslim community. That in itself is exactly what Jesus would call us to do. That's what Ambassadors for Christ should be all about. I love Muslims. However, I don't love Islam. My problem comes in here. I would not mind visiting a mosque from an educational and outreach perspective...but I would never go to the point of bowing before muhammad.

I just wonder what message the Pope sent to millions of people who look to him for guidance. If that message is..."Hey...we need to love muslims and reach out to them"...great. If the message is that the Bible and the Koran are both words from God...then I have a huge problem with that point. If the message he sent is "hey...there really isn't that much difference...muhammad or Jesus...take your pick"...then I'll take a break from this blog and vomit.

Well...an expletive feels strangely appropriate...but I'll refrain. So I'll just call it for what it is...wrong. Someday I hope he has the time to read some accounts from the lives of men like Shadraq, Meshach and Abendego (Daniel 3).

Pope hailed for praying toward Mecca like Muslims | Top News | Reuters.com

My Personal Favorite "More Than You Know"

We did a whole series of videos mocking the "The More You Know" series. We put our own twist on these...calling them "More Than You Know". Yet another reason why working at CIY is the greatest place in the world to work. MD...our video director does my personal favorite here...enjoy. I think I love this one so much because we work so hard to create this culture of excellence...and MD shows what it is really like on the inside.

To see the others, check out our You Tube account...you can hit the link here in my blog...or go to our SUMMER CONFERENCE YOU TUBE SITE.

Short Leash

Locked...

I found one of my journal entries today...and it brought back a lot of memories. One of my favorite text of the Bible comes from John 20. There is a word in vs. 19 that I will never overlook.

“Locked” (vs. 19) – Closed. Secure. Afraid. Noone is coming in and they don’t plan on coming out anytime soon. Fear sapped the deadbolt shut, and now they are let with a quiet whisper and the sounds of their own hearts beating in their ears. Every footstep makes them shiver. They are locked. Not merely closed. Not just huddled together. They have no apparent plan for offensive maneuvers, just a mess of fear and flesh. They are locked. No sense of His power. No sight of his presence. All they have is the memory of a dead God, and they are locked inside with their own fears. I lock my house, not to keep my stuff in, but to keep burglars out. I lock my car, not to keep my seats looking new, but to keep control of my vehicle. I think I also lock my heart. As much as I would like to deny it, I lock my heart. Door slams shut, I whisper to my emotions, careful not to talk to loud lest someone should hear me. Trapped inside with the experiences of the past but afraid to open the door and face rejection. I see that Jesus waltzes right in the wall. I think he also stands at the door and knocks sometimes. I have a fear that if he rushes in I might have to walk back out. It has been awhile since I truly allowed myself to see and touch God. In fact, while I am absolutely sure it has happed before, in the mess of this moment I can’t think of a tangible time when it did. Funny how absence really doesn’t make the heart grow fonder, …just absent. Locked. I think part of the fear is that once the door is open there won’t be much to see. That is the real fear of unlocking the door. The house is messy; the spiritual furniture is worn and outdated. Your room is in need of remolding. I don’t want to talk to Jesus behind a peephole. So many of us as believers huddle together living on past memories of You. You want to have us come outside for a barbeque. You want us to meet our neighbors, and to introduce them to you. We are not just locking ourselves in we are locking others out! Lord, help me unlock the door. Help me to get rid of my fears of rejection, embarrassment, and pride. Set me free from the bondage of my own heart. I noticed that when you came and stood among them, it says nothing as to how you entered the room. I ask you to do the same with me. Just show up. No doorbell. No invitation. Jesus…just show up. I’ll leave the light on for you!

Lights out

I love it when a plan doesn't come together.
I've noticed yet another thing in my life that I've got to work on in life. I'll add this one to the list. Trouble is...this list is getting long.

I have a tendency to plan. I've usually got a backup plan to my plan. My staff will tell you that I'm constantly anticipating every possible scenario of what could go wrong and how we would respond. I seem to live miles ahead of where I'm standing. I have a tendency to want God to work in and through the plans that are established.

Friday night at TN5 is where the plan goes out the window. We had a storm blow in and we lost all power for the rest of the night. I preached a sermon about how we need to be light and then we spent the rest of the night in darkness.

The trouble comes in where I don't like it when God chooses to add an element to the session that we didn't see coming. We had a plan. We had elements to complete. We had videos to show. We had cool things that we wanted to do.

God had a plan. God wanted to seal the point that darkness is a bad thing. God wanted to leave his church thinking that darkness steals joy. God wanted to remind the church that darkness leaves things unsettled. God wanted to remind us that darkness leaves us vulnerable. God wanted to remind us that when you are in darkness....you need direction. When you are in darkness...you have to scream clarity to those looking for guidance. God wanted to remind us that darkness needs one thing...light.

So I thank the Father for making his point better than we could have ever planned.

Oronogo

I'm sitting in Adrian, Michigan. It's Friday night and we are all about to tear down in a couple of hours. It's going to be about 2:30 am before we are done. We hit the road for a 12 hour ride home in the morning. Home is such a sweet word right now. I'm looking forward to sitting on my front porch and watching my kids play. I'm looking forward to taking a long walk with my wife. I'm looking forward to going on a walk and holding her hand. I'm looking forward to home.

It got me thinking about a journal entry that I made after one of my hardest years of ministry back in 1999. That was the worst year ever. Even though I had 2 back surgeries in 2004...I'd still say that 1999 was even worse. I think it would have to come in second to 2005 whenever my wife was diagnosed with cancer...that trumps all the years combined.
I love where I am in life right now...but I still want to go home. I don't mean Oronogo.

Journal Entry Feb, 22, 1999
Jayson French

I want to go home. No, I really mean it; I want to go home. I can remember as a kid, I would run up the driveway after school, and it felt so good to hit that front door and throw my books down. No more burden, no more baggage. I could just be home. I remember when I got stranded once in a St. Louis train station. I had no money, and no way home. I didn’t have any idea on how I was going to get back. I was broke, and scared, until I saw his face. It was my mentor from church. He just happened to be heading back to Joplin and decided to stop by the shopping area with his family. My heart nearly broke out in tears when I saw him and he offered me a ride. I just wanted to get home.

I remember one Halloween night when I was trick or treating. All alone, I had told my friends’ goodnight, and began the last three lonely blocks alone. I remember when the big white truck pulled up next to me and tried to convince me to get in. The fear struck my heart. I could see my house. The lights were on. My mom was waiting for me to walk in the door. I was afraid. I just wanted to be home.

I remember last summer. I had spent about six weeks away from home. Many of the trips I had to take without my wife and my son. I was speaking in Idaho, and I had planned on taking some vacation days after my speaking vacation. I remember getting off of the plane in Boise, and seeing that there was no one to meet me. I wanted to go home. I cancelled my vacation days, and willingly gave up the money for an earlier flight. All the way back, all I could think about is that I couldn’t wait to get home.

I remember being overseas, living in California with no family, I know what it is like to miss home. To be truthful, I want to go home.

It isn’t a matter of going back to my house, in fact, I’ve never even seen the place that I am longing for, but I know it is there. The Israelites longed for the Promised Land, and in a matter of speaking, so do I. I long for a place where I won’t see my friends get divorces. I long for a place where children don’t kill. I long for a home where the tears are dry and the water is so pure that no one has to fear. I long for Heaven. I want to go home.

I’m tired of the games, and the gimmicks. Second guessers and the skeptics no longer amuse me. I want to go home. I long for a place where the only leader is Jesus, and the only agenda is worship. I long for a place where gold isn’t an indicator of wealth, and my home will never be for sale. I long for a house, a house with many rooms, a place where I’ll never have to worry about living alone.

I long for a city, a city whose streets are never marked by orange construction barrels, and who will never charge me for utilities. I long for a city whose builder and maker is God. I long for clear purpose. I look for the day when I never have to worry if I am in the center of God’s plan, I just want to live in his house, I want to go home. I want to go to a home where my child will never die. I want to go to a home where my body will never grow old. I want to go to a home where I never have to worry about food on the table, because nobody ever gets hungry. I want to go home.

I want to live with my Jesus. I want to see my Lord love on the children who never had enough to eat. I want to see the smiles on their face when the no longer feel the sting of hunger. I want to go home.

I want to see Jesus. I want to fall down at his feet and say that I am sorry for all of the times when my attitude got in the way of where his Spirit was trying to lead. I want to tell him that I am sorry for all of the times that I confessed with my mouth and doubted by my actions. I want to see him. I want to see his eyes and feel the forgiveness that he has already granted. I want to go home and say that I am sorry.

I want to hear my Jesus. I want to hear that he knows my name. I want to know that I am one of the ones who called him Lord, Lord and actually mean it. I want to hear him say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant, enter into your rest.” I want to go home.

I want to listen to David talk about Goliath, and I want to tell Daniel how amazed I was that he didn’t cry. I want to smell Shadraq, Meshac and Abendigo to see if they smell like smoke. I want to go home. I want to see the brothers and sisters that I have never met. I want to ask Paul how long he had to tread water after the shipwreck. I want to ask Peter if he would preach the Pentecost sermon all over again so I could hear it. I want Noah to just explain how on earth God pulled it off. I want to ask them all questions. I want to meet Job. I want to go home.

I want to see Aaron and Cory. I want to see Janice’s grandfather. I want to see Jesus. I want to go home.

I have felt this way before. It is the feeling when you are on the plane, and you have no idea as to how far out you really are. It’s that feeling of wonder. I wonder if my wife is getting ready to pick me up. Is Justin awake? Will he be happy to see me? I love the feeling when the nose of the plane begins to dip, and you know that the final descent is near, you are almost home. You wait for the plane to taxi, and then you wait in the back of the plane for the aisles to clear. I want with all of my heart to just be home. You start walking up the Jetway, your heart beats, and then at that moment when your eyes meet the ones that you love, you don’t know whether to cry or to laugh. I think that heaven will be a little like that.

I have that feeling of wonder about heaven. Sometimes this trip seems so long. It’s like we will never get there, so I distract myself, but the simple truth is I want to go home. I look forward to the trumpet sounding, and to find out that were really were more than conquerors. I long for the dead in Christ to catapult into the air. Just like Elisha, I want to hear the dead bones start to rattle! I want to walk into Heaven and feel my heart melt and to lose all sense of dignity and demeanor. I want to fall on my face in reverent fear and amazing love. I hope that the only thing that captivates my attention is the shear wonder and beauty of God.

I pray I don’t say anything stupid. I am so good at that. I hope that I just remember to keep my mouth shut. I hope that when it is time to worship, that I spent enough time in Psalms and Revelation that I know all of the words. I want to sit by the river of life. I want to marvel at the craftsmanship of God.

I cry out the words of Revelation, “Come quickly Lord Jesus”. It isn’t an obsession with death; on the contrary, it is a celebration of life, eternal life. This is the grand prize. This is the crown. This is the goal. This is my passion, my purpose and my sole priority in life. This is what I am all about, and to this end I will labor. It isn’t about power, it is about popularity, and it isn’t about position. It is about Jesus. It is about all of the frustrations paying off in the end. It is about knowing that I didn’t do it the easy way, but I did it the right way. It is about realizing that I may have never made all of the money I could have made, and I still received more than I ever deserved. To this end I will labor. I will not give up. I will not give up.

I will not give up. I have come too far, and loved too much. I have worked to hard and I am saying I will not give up. I may be frustrated, but he will not allow me to fall. I am hard pressed on every side, but I am not crushed. I am perplexed, but I am not in despair. I am struck down, but I am not destroyed. I am persecuted, but I am not abandoned. I carry around the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may be revealed. BY GOD, I am going home. I will be more than a conqueror, I will fight the good fight, and I will keep the faith, because I know that for me a crown of righteousness has already been custom fitted to my measly head.

I refuse to exit quietly. I will tell myself everyday that this is the day that the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad. I will not go about with a spirit of timidity. I know my destiny, and it is sure. I will not fight like a man beating the air. I will not run aimlessly. There is too much to be done. Yes, I want to go home, but there is a lot of work that still needs to be done. I will work. I will bust my tail until the plane pulls up to the terminal.

I will not allow my spirit to sleep, nor will it slumber. I have wasted too much time already. I want to go home, and I will.

Finding Terry

Terry is a 50-60 year old man who came as a sponsor. He has some mild disabilities. All we knew is that he was wearing a red shirt and red suspenders. I'll get back to this part later.

Last night completed our first night of Indiana2. I preached the opening sermon...let's just say that we all missed Mark Christian, he did the preaching last week!

The sermon was all about redemption. How Jesus shows up to find us and heal our brokenness.

At the end of the night we walked out into the lobby and the rain was just POURING. I took our team backstage to meet. We had just started our meeting when Emily Pelsue came back to tell us that Terry was missing.

I looked at our team and we quickly assembled a search party on the Anderson campus. I sent out our BC teams and our Interns and we divided up the campus. It was dark and raining and we had no idea where Terry had gone.

It only took a short time. Terry didn't want to stand in the rain anymore than we did. So he went back to the dorm. Smart guy.

I guess the part that smacked me the hardest is how quickly and efficiently we could assemble a response to someone who was lost. That just makes me wonder all the more why the church stinks so bad at doing the same. Why is it that we can read book after book and attend seminar after seminar about improving our impact in the community, yet our ability to actually find someone truly lost is ineffective. It's like we don't know where to look.

So here's to finding the Terry in every city. The spiritually disabled who sometimes don't even realize they are lost. May the church get a clue. May the church restore it's passion for not only talking about the lost...but finding them as well.

Jayson

Family pics

Don't bless our work?

Watchman Nee just nailed me again in his small book Sit, Walk, Stand:
He says: "...all work that is going to be effective in the divine purpose must be conceived by God. If we plan work and then ask God to bless it, we need not expect God to commit himself to it. God's name can never be a "rubberstamp" to authorize work that is ours in conception. True, there may be blessing upon such work, but it will be partial and not full. There can be no "in his name" there; only, alas, our name!" (p. 66)

All week I've been praying...not that God would bless our efforts, but that we would follow His blessing. Well done Watchman Nee.

Well, week one is on the books. It went really well. I'd say that in my four years at CIY, this is the smoothest first week out that I've ever had. This is also my favorite Conference theme. I felt like the week flowed really well. I had several youth ministers say that it really connected.

Looks like our attendance for SC is up this year! That is really exciting!

Our staff is wiped out. We all slept in until about 11 am and then went to P.F. Changs in Indy. I'm excited about next week. Looks like we've got a great crowd in Anderson.

God is good.

More than I anticipated

We almost didn't add the element in our service tonight. We had looked all over for the "Honor" cards and we couldn't find them. Finally...at about 6:15 we located them backstage. The element has students write a note to their parents. We wanted to see relationships restored and to see the reconciliation between students and parents.

The hard part for a student is that we ask them to hand the note to their youth minister and we ask the youth minister to mail the postcards tomorrow morning.

I can't imagine what it will be like when a parent gets this postcard in the mail before their child gets home. I can just imagine a student who forgets and by the time she gets home her attitude is larger than the car...and them mom says..."Hey, about that note...let's talk".

I really hope this opens up dialogue. I had a young man come up to me and say that he needed that push. He needed to make things right at home. I walked by another set of girls who were praying together. I walked passed another high school guy who had a pen in his hand and his hands were writing as fast as the tears were flowing.

It was more than I anticipated.

Jayson

Levi

I'm in Indiana right now leading a CIY Summer Conference. My son was in one of the skits tonight. It was so cool. He played an extra in our "electricity skit". He was so proud. He came out with a Star Wars light saber and fought Josh from Great Lakes Christian College. Josh tips the scales at about 300 lbs. Levi comes in at a whopping 45 lbs. The crowd just roared. Levi was pumped.

Levi told me that he had to get used to being on stage...because he was going to work at CIY someday. My heart just melted. He's already told me that he is going to take my job and that he wants my office. He wants to tell kids about Jesus.

I know that if Levi were to take my job...then I know that CIY would be in good hands. This kid knows how to pray. Today I told him that adults were going around the auditorium to pray for students. I found him sitting in an auditorium chair, alone. That just hit my heart. He is a praying kid. He is also passionate. He has his heart set on God. At this age it still comes out in fighting his brother, but I know that someday it will pour out in ways that are much more constructive for the Kingdom. When he was born we named him after the passage in Exodus 32:25-26. Our prayer is that he would always rally for the name of God. I know that the Lord will use him.

As for my office...not yet. I don't feel like I'm done. So Levi, you'd better get in line.

Amazing

Today was a tough day.

I got word that my grandmother passed away. (on my father Jim's side). I called today and his heart sounded very broken. That hurts to hear. I told him that I would be willing to drop everything for family and come home if he thought necessary. I feel compelled to complete the work at hand of leading conferences. I also feel the tension of being there for family. The graveside will be on Friday...and I'm scheduled to preach that night. He told me that I was doing good work, and that he felt I was right where I was supposed to be...And that he was proud of me. So on Friday night...a part of my sermon will be dedicated in my heart to my grandmother. I didn't get to spend a ton of time with her after my parents divorce. My memories of her are simple. She was always laughing and she always welcomed me with a hug. I remember how her eyes would light up when she saw me. That always meant the world to me. When I walked into a room as a little kid...I remember craving to be close to her. Her smile was so sweet. She was also a stubborn and private woman...and I think that's where I get part of my personality quirks. She was a great woman.

When I get home from conferences this summer, I plan on taking my boys, Sydney and my wife to visit her graveside. I'm also painfully aware that I had a disconnect with her because of divorce. I find myself lamenting that fact right now. I don't want to repeat that mistake with my children. I want them to be close to their grandparents...and I find myself needing to work on that.

As far as conference goes...we have completed our first night at Indiana1 and we are in the middle of our second. What an amazing night. The worship was intense. I felt like Mark Christian was supposed to preach that night...I didn't really know why...but I felt like he was the guy. I now know why. It was amazing to see all the first time decisions on Monday night. There had to be at least 40 kids who came to Christ that night. My heart was overwhelmed.

Right now we are in the middle of Tuesday night. It is going very well. I love going to Conference. It's stressful getting ready...but it is so much fun once it starts. I still love to sit back and watch people worship. Tonight was a powerful moment. The experiential worship element where students put the tombstones in the sand was so powerful to watch. I stood back and watched for awhile and my heart broke over some of the things that were being written. I hope that this confession leads to repentance.


Things are really going well. I'm looking forward to the rest of the week. I want to learn from Watchman Nee in Sit, Walk, Stand. I want to find God's blessing and follow it. I pray that as the week(s) unfold...that we can follow his direction.

Jayson

Fireworks at 40

In less than twenty-four hours I was able to celebrate two amazing moments. One with fireworks and one without.

I've never been a big fan of weddings. My own being the only exception. Last night my wife took me to a friends wedding. It really was a beautiful wedding. I'm not sure if that's because the food was good or the ceremony was short. Aaron and Sarah really did make a beautiful couple. I sat there in that moment with my daughter in my lap and my wife seated next to me. In those moments, I love to be a husband but I'm terrified to be a dad.

Then came the fireworks. The light of the fireworks sent a beautiful glow over our seats. I sat back and watched my wife again as she held my daughter tight. These are great times. Aaron and Sarah celebrated their first night with fireworks. It was a beautiful night.

Today held no fireworks. In fact, there wasn't even a sparkler. If it wasn't for my wife the moment might have been missed. A simple cookie that said "Happy 40th Anniversary" marked the occasion and moved this moment from ordinary to extraordinary. My in-laws have been married for 40 years. That takes a moment to sink in. 40 years is a marker. 40 years is a legacy. 40 years is an inspiration. 40 years demands respect. 40 years deserves some fireworks.

So night number one gets fireworks and 40 years gets a cookie. Seems a little backward if you ask me.

I know this...when I hit 40 years of marriage...I'm getting fireworks. I want the kind that make the neighbors run out of their houses with lawn chairs in hand. I want the kind of fireworks that make my friends wonder just how much I spent. I want husbands all around the street to glare at me for the standard that just got set. I want to have fireworks. I want fireworks to celebrate the most amazing woman in my life. Fireworks to thank her for the simple moments when she makes us coffee and brings it to me when I get out of the shower. Fireworks for the time she laughed at my jokes. Fireworks for the moments that I won't write. Fireworks to commemorate every fight that we outlived and every debt we paid off. Fireworks to tell cancer a couple of choice words. I want fireworks that glow bright and make her gray hair sparkle. At 40, I want to sit next to my bride on a blanket in the grass and I want to hold her hand. I want fireworks that scream I love you.

If the Lord allows, ...I want fireworks at 40.

It's coming

Two weeks and counting until CIY Summer Conference 2006!

You know that expression about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Well...I think it might be a train coming straight at us. We've passed the 17,000 mark this week, and the amount of lives to be impacted is still growing. This is going to be an amazing year. I can't wait to get started.

I've been hammering out my Friday night sermon for the summer. Paul is kicking my tail in Eph. 6:19-20. That text has just overwhelmed me lately. His humility in asking the church to pray for him is powerful. Where has that humility gone? I know that I need more of that in my life. I love how he puts on the armor and then asks for prayer. I think that there is something about having a sense of urgency that makes our prayer a little more fervent. It's kind of like my youngest son and baseball. We work and work on his swing...and I can't get him to focus. The funny thing is that when he is walking up to the plate he has this tendency to look over at me in the stands with this little look of panic on his face. It's that...oh crud...how do I do this? I think that prayer takes on a whole new significance in our lives when we strap on the armor and stand at the plate. No one wants to strike out.

The family