Amazing

Today was a tough day.

I got word that my grandmother passed away. (on my father Jim's side). I called today and his heart sounded very broken. That hurts to hear. I told him that I would be willing to drop everything for family and come home if he thought necessary. I feel compelled to complete the work at hand of leading conferences. I also feel the tension of being there for family. The graveside will be on Friday...and I'm scheduled to preach that night. He told me that I was doing good work, and that he felt I was right where I was supposed to be...And that he was proud of me. So on Friday night...a part of my sermon will be dedicated in my heart to my grandmother. I didn't get to spend a ton of time with her after my parents divorce. My memories of her are simple. She was always laughing and she always welcomed me with a hug. I remember how her eyes would light up when she saw me. That always meant the world to me. When I walked into a room as a little kid...I remember craving to be close to her. Her smile was so sweet. She was also a stubborn and private woman...and I think that's where I get part of my personality quirks. She was a great woman.

When I get home from conferences this summer, I plan on taking my boys, Sydney and my wife to visit her graveside. I'm also painfully aware that I had a disconnect with her because of divorce. I find myself lamenting that fact right now. I don't want to repeat that mistake with my children. I want them to be close to their grandparents...and I find myself needing to work on that.

As far as conference goes...we have completed our first night at Indiana1 and we are in the middle of our second. What an amazing night. The worship was intense. I felt like Mark Christian was supposed to preach that night...I didn't really know why...but I felt like he was the guy. I now know why. It was amazing to see all the first time decisions on Monday night. There had to be at least 40 kids who came to Christ that night. My heart was overwhelmed.

Right now we are in the middle of Tuesday night. It is going very well. I love going to Conference. It's stressful getting ready...but it is so much fun once it starts. I still love to sit back and watch people worship. Tonight was a powerful moment. The experiential worship element where students put the tombstones in the sand was so powerful to watch. I stood back and watched for awhile and my heart broke over some of the things that were being written. I hope that this confession leads to repentance.


Things are really going well. I'm looking forward to the rest of the week. I want to learn from Watchman Nee in Sit, Walk, Stand. I want to find God's blessing and follow it. I pray that as the week(s) unfold...that we can follow his direction.

Jayson